Chris Carosa, Author at Chris Carosa

I’d Rather Have A Bottle (of Diet Pepsi) In Front of Me…

By Chris Carosa on June 25, 2019

Those of a certain age remember Dr. Demento. Those who aren’t of a certain age should discover Dr. Demento.

Dr. Demento was what might be called a “free range” DJ in the waning days of AM music. He didn’t fit in any acceptable genre. He played novelty songs no one else would play. In doing so, he popularized Elmo and Patsy’s “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” and would help launch the career of Weird Al Yankovic.

It wasn’t all about the music. Dr. Demento’s shows featured oddball skits and comedy routines. In the late 1970s and early 1980s it was likened to an audio version of Saturday Night Live. (Those of a certain age know that was Saturday Night Live when it used to be Continue Reading “I’d Rather Have A Bottle (of Diet Pepsi) In Front of Me…”

Posted in Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries, Western New York State of Mind Tagged architecture, Buffalo State Asylum for the Insane, Buffalo State Hospital, Dr. Demento, Dr. James W. Watts, Dr. Rock, Dr. Walter Freeman, Elmo & Patsy, Existential Blues, Glenn Close, Gothic, Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Hotel Henry Urban Resort Conference Center, Kim Basinger, Lena Carosa, National Society of Newspaper Columnists, NSNC, Patsy Carosa, Randy Hanzlick, Robert Duvall, Robert Redford, Romanesque Revival, Saturday Night Live, The Natural, Weird Al Yankovic, Wizard of Oz

What’s in a (Middle) Name?

By Chris Carosa on June 18, 2019

Bart Starr passed away a few weeks ago. If you don’t know him, he was the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers during their glorious Vince Lombardi years when the Packers won the championship five out of seven years, including the first two Super Bowls. He was old time football. Perhaps not brilliant like Johnny Unitas, or as glamorous as Y.A. Tittle, or as athletic as Otto Graham, Bart Starr was workmanlike and effective. He was like the IBM of quarterbacks when IBM was the kind of company “no one would ever get fired for choosing.”

What you might not know about him is Bart Starr is the reason why I have the middle name I have.

Truth be told, Starr’s era had peaked by the time I Continue Reading “What’s in a (Middle) Name?”

Posted in Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged 1970 Topps Football, Baltimore Colts, Bart Starr, Buffalo Bills, Chuck, erie county fair, Errol Morrall, Green Bay Packers, Heidi Game, Joe Namath, Johnny Unitas, Kansas City Chiefs, Kenny, Mercedes Benz, New York Jets, Oakland Raiders, Otto Graham, peace symbol, Superbowl, Superbowl III, Tommy, Vince Lombardi, Y.A. Tittle

The Fantastical (Real-Life) Time Machine

By Chris Carosa on June 11, 2019

I had the pleasure of being invited to perform for Living History Day at SUNY Fredonia a couple of weeks ago. The all-day event features dozens of “acts.” It’s offered to hundreds of 7^th graders from throughout the Greater Western New York region. They’re bussed in early in the morning and attend live demonstrations of everything from Seneca Indian dances to artillery cannon fire.

These 12-year-olds watch as regiments from the Revolutionary War (both sides), the War of 1812 and the Civil War (both sides) conduct their drills. They see real-life colonial cooking, frontier gaming, and homespun crafts. The learn from medicine women, Suffragettes, and military historians. They discover 18^th century artifacts, 19^th century women’s fashions, and 20^th century genealogical grave hunting.

All this is done in period dress. Not just generic period dress, but actors dress as actual historical characters. I walked in with Harriet Tubman. Later I saw her talking to Abraham Lincoln. I could have sworn I saw a British general drinking coffee with Susan B. Anthony.

And they were all in costume. Even the civilians wore clothing of the era they represented. You can see from the pictures from the event. Everyone donned the fashion of the time from which they spoke and lived.

All except me.Continue Reading “The Fantastical (Real-Life) Time Machine”

Posted in Gray Matter Musings, Great Speaking Tips, Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries, Western New York State of Mind Tagged Abraham Lincoln, Civil War, Greater Western New York, Harriet Tubman, Konstantin Stanislavski, Living History Day, Method acting, Rankin/Bass, Revloutionary War, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Seneca, SUNY Fredonia, Susan B. Anthony, Time Travel, War of 1812

Dad and the Art of Lawnscape Maintenance

By Chris Carosa on May 28, 2019

In the art of landscape maintenance, my son and I have what you might call “creative differences.”

You see, I love mowing the lawn. It’s relaxing. It’s simple. It allows me a couple hours of free uninterrupted thought to think about whatever happens to flow through this brain of mine. In fact, this Commentary evolved from just one of those self-contained inventive sessions.

For me, cutting the grass represents a calming interlude in the maelstrom of a busy life. Sure, I want the yard to look good, but I don’t want it too fancy. Fancy implies labor-intensive. It’s not worth it. I’m a trained scientist. In my eyes, the world is not a show Continue Reading “Dad and the Art of Lawnscape Maintenance”

Posted in Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged cutting the grass, Grand Teton, Jerry Baker, lawn mowing, Patsy Carosa, Peter Carosa, Roger Lundell

Heah Come Da (Hamburger) Judge!

By Chris Carosa on May 21, 2019

Sentinel Publisher Chris Carosa presents a signed copy of his book Hamburger Dreams to Best NY Burger winners, son Matt Beach and father Randy Beach, of the Ale ’n Angus Pub in Syracuse. To the left is Jean O’Toole, Executive Director of the New York Beef Industry Council, sponsor of the event.

It was a driving rain, which is actually OK if you’re driving in it. Which I was. But soon wouldn’t be.

I snaked through the meandering roads of the expansive Onondaga Community College campus, peering through the rain-fogged windows desperately searching for “Visitors Parking” between Lot 6 and Lot 7. The place was packed with cars.

Suddenly, the brake lights of a small foreign car parked ahead blinked on. I had my chance. The vehicle backed out and sailed away. I quickly maneuvered to seize the empty space. But, before I could pull in I slammed on my own brakes.

At the end of the spot stood an ominous sign. It warned “30 minute parking only.”

I was already late. It was 2:45pm and I was told the event wouldn’t end until 7:00pm at the earliest. Should I risk getting a ticket or find another space somewhere in the Continue Reading “Heah Come Da (Hamburger) Judge!”

Posted in Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Ale 'n Angus Pub, Beef on Weck Burger, Best NY Burger, BurgerMonth.com, CB Craft Brewers, Chisholm Trail, Daniel Berman, Empire Livestock Marketing, Flip Wilson, GirlCarnivore.com, Jacob Pucci, Jean O'Toole, John Wayne, Kenneth Krutz, Kita Roberts, MacBubba Burger, Matt Beach, New York Beef Industry Council, Onondaga Community College, Randy Beach

Should You Go Wide or Go Deep?

By Chris Carosa on May 7, 2019

Remember a couple months back when I said I discovered a way to add more hours to my day? (If you don’t, here it is: “That Time I Discovered ‘Idle Time’ Doesn’t Really Exist,” Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel, March 14, 2019). With all that rediscovered time I was able to explore a dusty section of unread books in my expansive library. (And by expansive, I mean… Wait. Forget it. It only gets Betsy mad.)

I began this new venture by perusing an entire series of books from the pens of the greatest copywriters. These books defined the advertising industry as it emerged from the 19^th century into the 20^th. They represent the primordial tracks from which Madison Avenue men evolved. They spawned a persuasive style that combined art and science into an effective (sometimes too effective) tool.

By “art” I refer to the words that effectively captivate and motivate the reader. But how do the words work as intended?

That’s where the “science” comes in. Today we call it “market research.” Claude C. Hopkins, acknowledged as perhaps the greatest copywriter, called it “scientific advertising.” His book by the same name (published in 1923) shows how an ad means nothing unless it stimulates its audience to act. He not only wrote the ads, he studied how Continue Reading “Should You Go Wide or Go Deep?”

Posted in Business Tips, Gray Matter Musings, Great Writing Tips Tagged Advertising, Albert Lasker, American Cancer Society, Black Sox, Chicago Cubs, Claude C. Hopkins, copywriting, Jr., Lasker Award, Mad Men, Madison Avenue, market research, marketing, My Life in Advertising, penetration, Planned Parenthood, Rosser Reeves, Scientific Advertising, Soap Opera, The Lasker Story As He Told It, Unique Selling Propostion, usuage pull, Warren G. Harding, William Wrigley

One-Upping Warren: This is the Right Way to Forgive Student Loans

By Chris Carosa on April 30, 2019

It was one of those silly socialist ideas that normally come from the mouth of Bernie Sanders. No one took it very seriously in 2016 when the then 74-year-old Vermont Senator tried to win the (we now know rigged) Democrat nomination from Hillary Clinton. He proudly declared “free college for everyone!” The kids loved it. The adults giggled.

The Clinton establishment knew this kind of talk wouldn’t fly in fly-over country (hint: that’s us). It was too radical. Too impractical. Too communist. So they laughed at Bernie and encouraged him to say what he said.

Little did we know.

Andrew Cuomo, with a watchful eye on his own 2020 political ambitions, decided to see Continue Reading “One-Upping Warren: This is the Right Way to Forgive Student Loans”

Posted in Gray Matter Musings, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Andrew Cuomo, Bernie Sanders, College, Elizabeth Warren, Free Tuition, Hillary Clinton, student loan

“Can I Do This?”

By Chris Carosa on April 23, 2019

Just under two minutes away from the fields, the car’s audio system thundered that ever-familiar “Thud– Thud–CLAP!” bass beat. I knew what it was. The kids didn’t. I could use this. They needed it.

All I said to them was, “Boys, listen to this. It’s an omen.” It’s good to have been an AM disc jockey (back in the days when they used to play music).

“Thud– Thud–CLAP!”

It captivated the boys. They couldn’t turn away from its allure. The a cappella voices meant Continue Reading ““Can I Do This?””

Posted in Business Tips, Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged 1967 Boston Red Sox, baseball, Championship, confidence, Don Quixote, fear, Frank Sinatra, My Way, Queen, The Impossible Dream, The Man of La Mancha, We Are The Champions, We Will Rock You, winning

This is Why New York State Needs an Electoral College

By Chris Carosa on April 9, 2019

The war had been going on for the better part of a year when John Adams wrote, “The blessings of society depend entirely on the constitutions of government.” Shortly thereafter, on May 10, 1776, the Second Continental Congress passed a resolution recommending the thirteen colonies “adopt such Government as shall in the opinion of the Representatives of the People, best conduce to the happiness and safety of their Constituents in particular.”

In a letter to his brother John Augustine Washington dated Philadelphia, May 31, 1776 George Washington issued this prophetic warning: “To form a new government requires Continue Reading “This is Why New York State Needs an Electoral College”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries, Western New York State of Mind Tagged 13 colonies, Alexander Hamilton, Articles of Confederation, Federalist, Federalist No. 10, Federalist No. 68, George Washington, Greater Western New York State, James Madison, John Adams, mob rule, New York City, New York State Constitution, New York State Senate, Revolutionary War, Robert Yates, tyranny of the majority, United States Constitution, Whig

Mechanical or Intuitive: Which Approach Works Best for You? – A Real-World Lesson (Part II)

By Chris Carosa on April 2, 2019

The Conclusion of: “Style or Substance? A Real-World Lesson – A Real-World Lesson (Part I)”

“Yes, you may hit the right notes more often than Chris,” she began, “but your intuitive desire to physically search for the perfect note interferes with the broader tempo of the entire piece. Chris is mechanical. To him, keeping that tempo is more important than finding the perfect pitch. The concertmaster’s job is to lead the entire orchestra in maintaining this tempo.”

The answer shocked me. I never thought of myself as a mere machine. But there it was. The teacher had just said so. I was mechanical, not intuitive.

This didn’t sound right. How could a machine find the joy in playing the way I did? Wasn’t a machine dispassionate? Doesn’t a machine work precisely because it has Continue Reading “Mechanical or Intuitive: Which Approach Works Best for You? – A Real-World Lesson (Part II)”

Posted in Business Tips, Gray Matter Musings, Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged concertmaster, Gates Chili, high school, John Cage, orchestra, violin