Chris Carosa, Author at Chris Carosa

Back in the Saddle Again!

By Chris Carosa on September 12, 2017

Ah, the joys of sitting atop the multiple horse equivalent of internal combustion, casually doing ovals around a track of flowing (and growing) green. Now that the boy is safely ensconced in university environs (if you can call doing a term project in Panama “safe”), I am now able to return to my weekly therapy. Others may call this a chore, but I look forward to mowing the lawn and the wonderful thoughts awaiting me as I go round and round from here and back again.

Besides, to paraphrase Robert Duvall’s Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore, “I love the smell of freshly cut grass in the morning” (or afternoon, whatever the case may be). And while Francis Ford Coppola may have been calling his inner Joseph Conrad while making Apocalypse Now, I can’t help but call my own inner Gene Autry as I mount up and ride Continue Reading “Back in the Saddle Again!”

Posted in Gray Matter Musings, Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Apocalype Now, Colonel Bill Kilgore, Don Adams, Francis Ford Coppola, Gene Autry, Harry Callahan, Homily, John Deere, Joseph Conrad, Magnum Force, Maxwell Smart, Robert Duvall

The True Legacy of Ben Franklin’s Last Will and Testament

By Chris Carosa on September 5, 2017

The following represents a chapter excerpt from the forthcoming book From Cradle to Retirement – The Child IRA – How to start a newborn on the road to a comfortable retirement while still in a cozy cradle (Pandamensional Solutions, Inc., September 2017). If you know of millennials (or baby boomers) who are parents (or grandparents), especially if they own their business or are part of a closely-held/family business, you may want to encourage to pre-order the book through Kickstarter project: “Child IRA Book – Is Your Child’s Future Worth $1,000 a Year.” Professional might want to take a look at and back this project, too, because it offers several low-cost opportunities to brand their business in this large and growing market.

Ben Franklin may have been teased into starting twin 200-year trusts in Boston and Philadelphia, but he nonetheless realized a great idea when he saw one. He even recognized the potential obstacles that might present themselves to those tasked with executing his grand plan. More important, we now recognize that, all other things aside, Franklin should be applauded for his eternal optimism in the nation he helped found.

The history of his legacy trusts – The Franklin Trust of Philadelphia and the Franklin Foundation of Boston – instructs us on both the power of compound interest and the dangers of relying on public officials to manage money for the long-term. We might even Continue Reading “The True Legacy of Ben Franklin’s Last Will and Testament”

Posted in Slush Pile, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries, Western New York State of Mind Tagged Benjamin Franklin, Boston, Buffalo, David S. Rose, Jack Towarnicky, Jacob Friedrich Schoellkopf, Philadelphia, Schoellkopf Trust Fund for Buffalo

Ben Franklin Trusts – Did They Work?

By Chris Carosa on August 30, 2017

The ever meticulous Benjamin Franklin sought to control at least a portion of his wealth from his grave. That particular bequest (in 1790) – 1,000 pounds sterling each to the cities of Boston and Philadelphia – came with specific directions as to its use and disbursement. These instructions covered a period of 200 years. How close did the beneficiaries stick to Franklin’s instructions? How did this loyalty – or lack of loyalty – to the grantor’s final wishes leave the final estate at the end of Franklin’s 200-year time period? Finally, what does the legacy of Ben Franklin’s Last Will and Testament tell us about ourselves, our nation, and our collective financial literacy?

Franklin calculated the value of each fund would be £131,000 at the end of the first Continue Reading “Ben Franklin Trusts – Did They Work?”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Benjamin Franklin, Boston, Franklin Trust, Philadelphia

Solar Eclipse, 1970 – A True Story

By Chris Carosa on August 15, 2017

Saturday, March 7, 1970 – Leisure Lanes, Camp Road, Hamburg, New York. I’ll never forget that day. It was the first time I remember having to make a very difficult choice. It was a wrenching choice. It was an agonizing choice. It was the kind of choice no one ever expects a nine-year old boy to have to face.

Yet I did. And I can blame no one for it except for myself, the expectations I had placed on myself, and the subsequent expectations I had encouraged others to, well, expect of me. Nonetheless, the way I approached the decision appears, in retrospect, to have become the template I have since used for all such future conundrums.

By that point in the latter half of fourth grade, I had become the de facto astronomer of the class. Yes, there was actually a competition of this exalted position, and I was determined Continue Reading “Solar Eclipse, 1970 – A True Story”

Posted in Boy Scouts, Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged astronomy, Big Tree Cub Scout Pack 489, Big Tree Elementary, bowling, bowling trophy, Christopher Columbus, Cub Scout, Cub Scouts, Eclipse of the Century, fourth grade, Galileo Galilei, hamburg, Hans Lippershey, Hayden Planetarium, Hertzsprung-Russell diagram, Leisure Lanes, Robert Coles, third grade, Tom Jolls, Woodlawn, Woodlawn Intermediate, Woodlawn Primary

The Virtues (and Vices) of Deadlines

By Chris Carosa on August 8, 2017

What kind of student were you? The kind that got all your homework done before school ended so you could play guilt-free the whole weekend, or the kind that played all weekend and crammed your homework assignment in that space of time between Sunday dinner and bedtime?

Sorry if I just caused tonight’s nightmare for you. No doubt these questions bring up horrible memories for those who the phrase “no more pencils, no more books…” was last uttered decades ago. Similarly, those still subject to the school bell probably wish to avoid these questions the same way they want to avert their eyes from the coming weeks’ advertising circulars trumpeting all their “back to school” sales.

It could be worse folks. I could write just another ad nauseum piece on the latest hearsay Continue Reading “The Virtues (and Vices) of Deadlines”

Posted in Business Tips, Gray Matter Musings, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged back to school, Chinese Philosophy, Confucius, homework, John F. Kennedy, Neil Armstrong, Shakespeare, yang, yin

The Man Who Refused to be a Victim

By Chris Carosa on August 1, 2017

In the fall of 1959, Warren Sutton did something that got him in a lot of trouble. A star collegiate athlete entering his junior year, he began dating the 18-year old daughter of an official of the university he attended. Her age wasn’t the thing that got him in a lot of trouble. The fact her father was bursar wasn’t the thing that got him in a lot of trouble. No. the trouble came about for the most superficial of reasons. You might even call them “skin-deep.” Specifically, his was black and hers was white.

While not prohibited in New York State, interracial marriages were not granted constitutional protection until 1967 when the Supreme Court struck down a Virginia statute banning such arrangements. Warren Sutton merely dated a white woman. He didn’t marry her. Still, he was hounded out of Alfred University that year, eventually finishing his stellar college basketball career at Acadia University in Canada. How good was he? He was good enough to be drafted by the NBA St. Louis Hawks. He opted for a more promising career in Continue Reading “The Man Who Refused to be a Victim”

Posted in Gray Matter Musings Tagged Alfred University, American Spirit, bullying, Catarina, college education, Founding Fathers, health care, Mackenzie-Childs, Mark Zupan, retirement, self-defense, self-independence, self-reliance, Warren Sutton

A Lament for All the Nobody’s Out There

By Chris Carosa on July 25, 2017

I showed up unannounced (and a day early) at Chris Collins’ office at 1117 Longworth. Actually, I was under the mistaken impression the “11” of “1117” represented the floor. There is no 11th floor in the Longworth building, which I discovered only after the elevator doors closed. Fortunately, a kind lady told me the first “1” represented the building and the second “1” represented the floor.

When I arrived at his office, Collins wasn’t there. He was on the House floor voting on, as near as I can tell from the daily record of July 18, 2017, a series of otherwise mundane amendments. Somebody probably thinks they are important. Maybe even Collins. I didn’t bother to ask. Ironically, I didn’t think it was any of my business.

I say it’s “ironic” because everything Congress does is, quite literally, “the people’s business.” It’s just that I’m so accustomed to thinking of myself as a nobody that Continue Reading “A Lament for All the Nobody’s Out There”

Posted in Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Boy Scout, Child IRA, Chris Collins, CNBC, Congress, Eagle Scout, Washington DC

Breadcrumbs of Unfinished Symphonies

By Chris Carosa on July 10, 2017

This is the fourth and final part of an older brother’s eulogy to a beloved younger brother.

LEGACY [leg-uh-see]

Merriam-Webster: 1: “a gift by will especially of money or other personal property” 2: “something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past.”

The gift seemed rather small for the usual Christmas gift. Still, my brother tended towards the creative in his gift giving, so I unwrapped the present in anticipation of experiencing one of those “big things come in small packages” moments. As I tore and crumpled the colored paper, I could only guess what was inside. Opening the tiny box revealed… a generic Christmas tree ornament.

I could see Kenny smiling broadly, as if this was the gift I had always wanted. My somewhat tentative “thank you” only made his grin grow larger. As I looked at him, something struck me about his beaming face. It seemed more of a “I know something you don’t” kind of smirk. Or rather, a “But, don’t you get it?” smile of self-satisfaction.

This was confirmed when he plaintively said, “But, don’t you get it?”

I didn’t. But now I suspected I should have gotten it. I looked again at the ornament and couldn’t figure it out. I failed to come up with anything in our shared life that the sled referenced.

Seeing my consternation, Kenny’s face returned to the “I know something you don’t” smirk. “Read it,” he said.

I looked once more at the sled. Though a standard-issue mass-produced Christmas decoration, I suddenly noticed a carefully handwritten addition printed on the faux wood Continue Reading “Breadcrumbs of Unfinished Symphonies”

Posted in Memoir of a Real Life, The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Citizen Kane, Kenneth P. Carosa, Kenneth Patrick Carosa, Kenny, Legacy, Rosebud, The Sentinel

Kenny Discovers the Birds & the Bees… and the Mice (Content for Family and Friends Only)

By Chris Carosa on July 5, 2017

This is the third of four parts of an older brother’s eulogy to a beloved younger brother.

Kenny used football to teach a lot of things, even how to deal with celebrities with respect. Whether it was about when to get excited (like the moment he and Pat saw Al Davis riding in the next car over on the Thruway while driving home after a Raiders game) or when to contain excitement (which was pretty much every time Sam saw Marv Levy at Ilio’s).

But don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t as if Kenny wasn’t into fun. He was very good at doing fun. And when he found a gag that worked, you could be sure he’d use it – over and over again. For instance, at every baptism, without fail, when the time came for the godfather to hold the baby, Uncle Kenny would lean into Cesidia and whisper, “This is when I dropped you on your head.” Of course, sometimes he forgot his audience. One year – a different year from our opening story – his Christmas tree nearly fell on young Catarina. He caught the tree before it hit her, but he could tell she was scared. So he tried to make light of the situation by saying, “Catarina, you knocked down the tree!” Well, that was too much and Catarina started crying. He did his best to comfort her, but, well, you know, girls.

He didn’t limit his repartee to one-liners, either. He could out-slapstick the Three Stooges, but only when it came to the birds and the bees… and the occasional mouse. Yes, it’s true he and Betsy would pay their young innocent daughter Teresa a dollar every time she Continue Reading “Kenny Discovers the Birds & the Bees… and the Mice (Content for Family and Friends Only)”

Posted in Memoir of a Real Life Tagged Andrea, Betsy, Catarina, Cesidia, Kenneth P. Carosa, Kenneth Patrick Carosa, Kenny, Laurel and Hardy, Pat, Teresa, The Flintstones, Three Stooges, Uncle Chris

Twins Never Part

By Chris Carosa on July 3, 2017

This is the second of four parts of an older brother’s eulogy to a beloved younger brother.

I was barely a year old when I first met Kenny. My parents brought this bundle home from the hospital. I saw a small foot poking through the blanket. Elated, I tugged the tiny toes. Still grasping the diminutive digits, I smiled broadly and looked up at my parents. “Goggie!” I said.

Yes, I had thought my parents got me a new puppy. Instead, I got something better – a baby brother. Had I been more eloquent then and as versed in classic cinema as I am today, I might have more aptly said, “Kenny, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

You may know him as “Ken,” “Kenny,” or even, as he signed every greeting card he ever signed beginning at age – I don’t know, 7? – Kenneth P. Carosa. To me, he’ll always be Continue Reading “Twins Never Part”

Posted in Memoir of a Real Life Tagged Abbott Parkway, Angelo, Cubscouts, Dad, Daryll Lamonica, erie county fair, grandma, grandpa, Hamburg Fair, Kenneth P. Carosa, Kenneth Patrick Carosa, Kenny, L-Pattern, Pizza Stand, South Park Avenue, The Interception Kid, The Mad Bomber, Uncle Sammy