Can I have Some Lumbar Support with that Sandwich?

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Jambo Journal – Day #5, Thursday, July 29, 2010 Stormy Weather.

Yesterday’s entry: The Real Reason We’ll Never have a Co-ed Army.

There’s been a delay in these journal posts. The AT&T network keeps failing. It’s very frustrating.

It’s amazing how alive you 1269245_42697299_sun_burst_stock_xchng_royalty_freecan feel with no sleep. This doesn’t surprise me. I once wrote a novel in two weeks without taking a day off at work. I wrote it at night. I didn’t sleep. There must be something to that adrenaline stuff.

I had breakfast with the Skittles this morning. They rated yesterday’s opening ceremony between a 5 and a 7 (out of ten). They liked the paratroopers and the cannon fire (for the 1812 Overture) the best. They initially said their favorite speaker was Defense Secretary Robert Gates, a former boy scout. When asked about Sargent Slaughter, they responded, “Oh, yeah. But he was just entertainment, not a serious speaker. Besides, he called us ‘maggots.’” Like the others, they universally panned Miss America with “she should speak less and Continue Reading “Can I have Some Lumbar Support with that Sandwich?”

The Real Reason We’ll Never have a Co-ed Army.

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Jambo Journal – Day #4, Wednesday, July 28, 2010 Opening Ceremony.

Yesterday’s entry: When Hot Gets Cold and Cool Gets Hot.

Today is Opening Ceremony. 1214648_gift_box_stock_xchng_royalty_freeThe troop has to leave subcamp two hours before the show. The weather’s fine as they leave but I fear it’ll be in the Black Zone when they return. I’m staying at camp. I volunteered to stay, since a Scoutmaster is required to be in camp at all times. I really want to see Saturday’s evening celebration which includes the biggest Boy Scout fireworks show ever.

The entire camp is empty as the troops parade one-by-one to the Arena. I look around and see some camps have no Scoutmasters, but I don’t mind sitting back and enjoying the soon-to-be hot summer day. I relax. I eye the now empty adult showers, but it defeats the purpose for me to leave camp to take a shower. I decide to wait until the Continue Reading “The Real Reason We’ll Never have a Co-ed Army.”

When Hot Gets Cold and Cool Gets Hot.

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Jambo Journal – Day #3, Tuesday, July 27, 2010 Arrival.

Yesterday’s entry: Faithfully Following Directions Leads Us Astray – With Amazing Consequences!

While Monday evening saw us 1103971_32963947_unhappy_feet_stock_xchng_royalty_freeenter our tents in a sweat, too hot for even the barest of covers, by the wee hours of Tuesday morning we experienced something these parts of Virginia has not recently experienced. It’s something I believe the experts call “cold.” Well, not quite “cold,” actually more like “cool.” Word is folks from the northern tier might call it “balmy.”

In either case, it got cold enough during the short night, to require an extra article of clothing and – where’s that sheet it was too hot for earlier? Others might complain, but I thought it was great sleeping weather. Unfortunately, that darn moon had other things in mind and, for the second night in a row, I counted sheep until they passed out. By the time enough of them there woolly ovine had finally Continue Reading “When Hot Gets Cold and Cool Gets Hot.”

Fear and Loathing on Route 65

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[This Commentary originally appeared in the July 27, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

CarosaCommentaryNewLogo_259I don’t often take walks thought the maze of trails in Mendon Ponds Park. Too many snakes. Yes, I don’t like spiders and snakes. This is probably the result of watching an unhealthy amount of those atomic mutant movies that came out of the Red-Scare ‘50s. (Do you remember those movies? The pretty girl always ended up getting eaten by some oversized tarantula.)

Well, the other day, while contentedly strolling along a not-so-well worn path, a snake suddenly slithered in front of me. Momentarily startled, I jumped to the left, my foot landing in a concealed hole. I tripped, falling flat on my face and skinning my right knee (I wore shorts that day) on an exposed root.

“Shoot!” I would have exclaimed if I didn’t decide to employ a mild oath instead. I quickly pranced up on all fours, figuring the snake, seeing my vulnerable position, might Continue Reading “Fear and Loathing on Route 65”

Faithfully Following Directions Leads Us Astray – With Amazing Consequences!

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Jambo Journal – Day #2, Monday, July 26, 2010 Arrival.

Yesterday’s entry: Eternal Answer Finally Revealed

After a night of no rest, we turn 795594_46981410_Danger-Do-Not-Enter_Sign_stock_xchng_royalty_freeinto the large McDonald’s (complete with McPlayground) at 6:00am Monday, a full hour behind schedule. Wait! No, it’s the wrong one. We leave with another of the five buses and head down the road to the McDonald’s we phoned ahead to warn.

We get there and wonder if the busses will be able to park anywhere. Man, is it small. In fact, it’s about the size of one of Ray Kroc’s original franchises. Don’t worry about not having a playground, it barely has Continue Reading “Faithfully Following Directions Leads Us Astray – With Amazing Consequences!”

Eternal Answer Finally Revealed

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Jambo Journal – Day #1, Sunday, July 25, 2010 Departure.

We embarked on our 12-hour ride at 497227_52009257_chick_and_egg_stock_xchange_royalty_free9:30 Sunday night, thirty minutes past our scheduled departure time. The kids didn’t mind. Their parents didn’t mind. The weather was perfect for picture taking. The whole scene reminded me of one of those old movies – you know the kind I speak of – when it seems like the entire community comes to celebrate the debarking from port of some fabled steam liner.

Fortunately, the preliminary forecast did not indicate any likelihood of icebergs roaming the interstates between Rochester and Fort A.P. Hill. Heat Advisories? Well, that’s another thing altogether.

The joyous banter of youthful testosterone-filled excitement permeated the Continue Reading “Eternal Answer Finally Revealed”

The Thrill and Beyond

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[This Commentary originally appeared in the July 20, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

CarosaCommentaryNewLogo_259From a camera perched atop a tall skinny structure of skeletal steel, you look down upon the narrow tubular body of mostly white with hints of black. The “steam” of super cooled liquid oxygen gushes from various vents along the surface of the slender cylinder. You view the not-so-crisp TV picture in your living room, anxiously awaiting the final moment.

T-minus 20 seconds and counting…,” says a tin can voice over a PA system not much Continue Reading “The Thrill and Beyond”

Bring Back Crispy M&M’s®!

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They disappeared without much fanfare in 2005. I barely noticed it, but, then again, I don’t often buy M&M’s®.IMG00010-20100719-2030_orange_M&Ms_300 When I did, I usually did it only to fill treat bowls for the holidays. But Crispy M&M’s® Crispy remained my favorite of the brand. You’d think they might have been the favorite of the manufacturer, since, according to the Wikipedia entry (as of July 18, 2010), they brought in more profit than any other M&M® variety (caveat emptor, Wikipedia contains no reference for this “fact”).

Just in time for Christmas – is that why I first noticed them? – Crispy M&M’s® came into being in December 1998, the company’s first new flavor since 1954, when it introduced Peanut M&M’s®. Most folks, though, probably remember the debut of the paranoid “Orange” character in an ad that Continue Reading “Bring Back Crispy M&M’s®!”

Curse Those Romantic Subplots!

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[This Commentary originally appeared in the July 13, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

CarosaCommentaryNewLogo_259“So,” asks Liz, “Are you planning to go?”

 

“No, I don’t think so,” replies Julie. “It’ll just be a weekend of male bonding.”

 

And so a handful of not fully grown young adult men spent the days drinking beer, losing golf balls and generally reminiscing of bright college years. The talk was bawdy and bold. The laughs were deep and hearty. And all the cooking was done over the open fire of a gas grill.

*                 *                 *

The following Commentary may not be suitable for those seeking articles which appeal Continue Reading “Curse Those Romantic Subplots!”

What Are These Mysterious Blue Boxes?

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I saw the first one a few weeks ago on the way back from Chili. Hidden in a tree along the telephone wires on Lehigh Station Road hung what appeared to be a Mysterious_Blue_Box_300blue jacket. Since I was the only one in the car, I didn’t get much of a look. I figured it was something left over from the many recent graduations. You know, like those crazy sneakers-hanging-from-the-telephone-wire things you used to see everywhere.

Then, on the same drive home, I noticed another blue jacket hanging from tree shrouded telephone wires on Mendon Center Road.

“Wow!” I thought to myself. “That must have been one big party!”

Again, I couldn’t take a good look. I arrived home and promptly forgot about these navy garments.

Until this past Sunday. While traveling on Gulick Road in Honeoye (that is the road leading to Cumming Nature Center), I saw no fewer than three of these unexplained cobalt (or deep purple) three-sided boxes. (It being an early Sunday morning, I was able to actually pull over and stare at these things.)

What are they? My mind reels with the possibilities. Could they be the onset of some alien invasion? They appear to have cryptic markings on at least one side, but my zoom lens failed to discern the language. Or perhaps, in placing them deep within leafy branches overhanging telephone wires, maybe they are camouflaged surveillance devices furtively planted by this now-apprehended Russian spy network.

If you have an idea what crazy story might explain the existence of these mysterious blue boxes, add your thoughts in the comment section below.

Alternatively, if you know what they really are, let us in on the secret.

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