Chris Carosa %

Ties, Spots and Murphy’s Law

By Chris Carosa on June 10, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the June 8, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

Curse the foppish Duke whose vanity prevented him for enduring soiled shirts! His inability to control his sloppy eating habits has forever vexed modern day men. The nobleman’s pride forces a vestigial tradition upon us from which we have no escape.

I don’t know who it was – maybe the Earl of Sandwich’s brother-in-law – but the surreal waters of the Age of Discovery caused some crazy English lord to stuff a napkin under his collar. I suppose royalty exhibited a rather lavish behavior back then. Naturally, that particular napkin must have been manufactured from some ostentatiously colored silk rather than the modest white which today we have become accustomed to.

Unfortunately, in the Renaissance spirit of one-upmanship, a single unique event led to Continue Reading “Ties, Spots and Murphy’s Law”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged humor, Sentinel, slice of life

Shakedown, June 2010

By Chris Carosa on June 8, 2010

We left the safe harbor of our homes late afternoon on Friday. The sun shone pleasantly, its yellow hue melting the soft deciduous leaves in the tranquil heat of a mid-summer-like air. A pleasant breeze bathed exuberant faces filled with the hope and promise of the weekend’s journey, itself a mere primer for a more extended voyage this July. We knew the forecast, but the fresh sky bedazzled us. We carried on as planned.

The storms began to the north around midnight. The senior crew had just broke from their debriefing in the mess hall. The march to our assigned quarters took us again out into the bewitching serenity of Continue Reading “Shakedown, June 2010”

Posted in Boy Scouts, Memoir of a Real Life Tagged Boy Scout, Camp Cutler, Jamboree

Excelsior!!!

By Chris Carosa on June 3, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the June 1, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

Latin. What a great language. I’m glad I took it in high school. I wish I had more time to study it now.

Excelsior. I first remember learning the history and importance of the word from Miss Dispenza in 11^th grade. After a many year hiatus, Gates-Chili High School brought Latin back to the classroom my junior year. I thought the course would offer insights into grammar, linguistics and history (particularly Roman history), so I took it. Thanks to Miss Dispenza, the class rewarded me – an upperclassman – and about twenty freshmen with a vast array of fascinating and useful morsels of the mind.

New York State chose Excelsior as its motto with good reason. For many, many years, New York State led the United States, (at least until everyone took the Continue Reading “Excelsior!!!”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Gates Chili, Latin, Lifetime Dream, motivation, philosophy

I Don’t Know Poetry

By Chris Carosa on June 1, 2010

I don’t know poetry
I don’t know jazz
But, of course, that is redundant

I see asymmetry
Hear razzmatazz
Creativity abundant

Give me geometry
And simple facts
A feast I’ll eat inundant.

Posted in Slush Pile Tagged poetry

Mendon’s Secret

By Chris Carosa on May 27, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the May 25, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

I live in Mendon. I don’t live in Pittsford. I think that says a lot. Pittsford is a very nice town, but it is not Mendon.

A few years ago, I began searching Monroe County for a home suitable for my needs. I looked at a few houses in Pittsford, but something just wasn’t right for me. I didn’t know what it was then (and I still don’t). My quest for living space continued until I saw Mendon. “Wow, what a nice place,” I thought. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew Mendon was the right location.

I’ve had some time now to settle in and meet other people like myself. Mendon denizens really don’t talk about their community the way a high school cheerleader might enthusiastically root, root, root for the home team, but you can catch a certain Continue Reading “Mendon’s Secret”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Local, Mendon, Pittsford, Sentinel

3 Reasons You Should Never Resort to a Panel of Experts

By Chris Carosa on May 25, 2010

I sat in on a lecture at a prestigious enclave recently. The guest speaker enthralled the audience with an exciting and informative lecture. As with all good speakers, he left the audience wanting by giving them a question to ponder. One by one the members of the audience – all certified experts in the subject matter – rose to offer commentary and ideas. More of an outsider, and certainly without the credentials of all others, I mulled over my own thoughts. A mortal fear the esteemed scholars would laugh me out of the room should I ask a stupid question kept me at bay. Here’s what I did instead.

I listened.

Set aside your first thought (i.e., “there are no ‘stupid’ questions” – we’ll get to this later) and instead focus on the opportunity provided by foregoing my own ego and simply listening to these intellectual chieftains. In my sedentary yet attentive state, a profound idea stuck me. It exposes a problem that represents the biggest sin every policy maker Continue Reading “3 Reasons You Should Never Resort to a Panel of Experts”

Posted in Gray Matter Musings Tagged philosophy, politics, Yale

The Difference Between Wright and Rose

By Chris Carosa on May 20, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared as Rose vs. Wright in the May 18, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

I spent my formative years growing up in Buffalo, home of the original Buffalo Bisons and an upstart American Football League team. By the end of the 60’s, football had taken hold of the city. The Bisons, who had been a farm club for the Cincinnati Reds, were on their way out. Naturally, then, I became a football fan prior to becoming a baseball fan.

The first baseball game I remember watching – the 1970 World Series – featured the Baltimore Orioles against the Cincinnati Reds. Without a favorite, I put my Continue Reading “The Difference Between Wright and Rose”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged baseball, Growing Up, politics, Sentinel, sports

Groucho Speaks! A Book Review of The Groucho Letters

By Chris Carosa on May 17, 2010

Who’s the best comedic commentator too many people haven’t really seen? Long before Jon Stewart, ages prior to SNL’s Weekend Update, decades in advance of Johnny Carson and even years ahead of Bob Hope, the world had Groucho Marx. A biting satirist when needed, Groucho had an advantage over all these heirs: He had no pretentions about his own humble beginnings (vaudevillian slapstick can do that to anyone). How did Groucho achieve this while Stewart, SNL and, at times both Carson and Hope, fail the snideness test?

Many credit Irving Thalberg with the successful relaunch of the Marx Brothers. After a five year run with Paramount, the Marx Brothers left the studio over a disagreement. Thalberg picked up the act for MGM. Though their Paramount movies proved popular, those pictures lacked something. Thalberg knew what the films overlooked. Besides a traditional story line, Continue Reading “Groucho Speaks! A Book Review of The Groucho Letters”

Posted in Book Reviews Tagged Groucho, Marx Brothers

Coke versus Pepsi

By Chris Carosa on May 13, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the May 11, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

Dateline: ROME, August, 1988

The third day had been the worst. The muggy Mediterranean weather combined with the smoggy sky to produce a parched throat. This searing summer air in the land of my ancestors’ roots evoked memories of hot hazy August days and my grandfather’s pizza stand at the Erie County Fair. Perspiring and exhausted, my mind drifted back to those 16 hour days when, as I stood selling saucy slices, the sizzling sun seared one side of me as the fiery oven cooked the other. Only the frequent Pepsi breaks could quench my body’s sweaty thirst (despite my grandfather’s complaint, “You’re drinking all our profits!”).

Walking among the dusty ruins under the torrid Roman sun created an unnatural thirst. The Aqua Minerale (senza gas), offered only temporary reprieve. I knew my ultimate Continue Reading “Coke versus Pepsi”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Italy, Pepsi, Yale

Top 5 Biggest PowerPoint Mistakes: #5 Using PowerPoint in the First Place

By Chris Carosa on May 11, 2010

When the going gets tough, shoot the messenger. Don’t laugh. According to the New York Times (“We Have Met the Enemy and He Is PowerPoint,” April 26, 2010), we can blame the ubiquitous PowerPoint for stultifying creativity, a false sense of security, and thousands of hours of lost productivity. (Disclosure: I drafted the bulk of this article – the first of a five-part series – the weekend before the Times published their story.) How could something that feels so right be so wrong?

Let’s start with something a mentor told me before the Trash-80 even made it to the shelves of your neighborhood RadioShack® store. I had to give a presentation to the board of directors of the radio station I so happily spun disks for. These various music directors had no idea what I intended to spring on them – I wanted to add sports broadcasting! I felt a handout might ease their concerns.

“Good idea,” said the mentor, “but don’t pass it out until you’re done with your Continue Reading “Top 5 Biggest PowerPoint Mistakes: #5 Using PowerPoint in the First Place”

Posted in Great Speaking Tips Tagged Chris Brogan, Powerpoint, public speaking, WYBC

Chris Carosa