Many years ago, a young aspiring columnist asked an established author what it takes to be a writer. “To write, you need to find your pen,” said the wordsmith. “To write well, you need to find your voice.”

“Find your voice?” What does that mean?

I never understood that expression. It seemed like a cop out. It’s what you tell a young buck when you don’t have a real answer. After all, everyone is looking for that magic bullet, that sure-fire secret that makes you a success.

Well, after years of writing, it dawned on me the answer to “How can I be a good writer?” is obvious. You need to find your voice. I can’t tell you what it means, but I can tell you it’s true.

I can, however, tell you what you need to do to find your voice. It’s actually quite simple. You must write. Often. Incessantly. Without regard for the blue pen of the editor.

Eventually, you’ll notice you’ve created a mental template that guides your word craft. You may even have multiple templates if you write in different ways for different audiences. For example, you wouldn’t write a romance novel the same way you write an action-adventure thriller.

What can be said of writing can also be said of speaking. In fact, those “magic” elements you find in good writing also have their place in good speaking. They might come out differently (i.e., writing is often more formal and more structured than speaking), but the concepts remain the same. For example, story weaving, callbacks, and self-deprecating humor engage the audience in ways that can leave a lasting impression. Here’s why:

Story Weaving. As the name implies, this idea most clearly resembles writing. Whether using a pen to extend your voice or using your vocal cords, you’re taking a story and threading it through a larger narrative. In a speech, it isn’t the main subject of the lecture. The drama inherent to this story teases the audience into wanting more. Think of this as leaving several cliffhangers throughout your broader presentation.

Done well, story weaving doesn’t distract from the topic while providing a resonating echo of the theme. It generally presents a metaphor or supporting message to create an emotional connection with your audience.

Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address and John Kennedy’s inaugural speech both used story weaving in a similar way. They each used their speeches to weave the story of the nation’s founding throughout their primary premise. Lincoln reflected on a nation “conceived in liberty” and “dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal” to emphasize how Gettysburg merely extended the fight for freedom that began with the Revolutionary War. He wanted his audience to embrace the concept that preserving our Union harked back to this shared heritage.

Kennedy, on the other hand, played a more subtle hand. He told the story of the American Revolution to inspire what he called a “new generation of Americans” to carry on the legacy left them by the Founding Fathers. His rhetoric technique had the audience imagine themselves as part of America’s ongoing story. This inspired a patriotic ire that connected our country’s past with the present.

Callbacks. This element works in conjunction with story weaving. Story weaving makes callbacks more effective and more natural to the ears of the audience. A callback refers to something said earlier. Comedians use them on unsuspecting audiences. Oddly, they may seem unrelated to the plot line of a narrative. The very nature of sticking out like a sore thumb, however, makes the principal motif more apparent. Callbacks can be utilized as “Easter Eggs,” inside jokes between the performer and the audience.

The movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off contains plenty of callbacks to Ferris’ supposed ailment. They appear just in time to further antagonize his sister, who knows he’s playing hooky just to spend a day having fun. Whether it’s being asked to donate to a collection for Ferris’ “surgery” or seeing the water tower with the phrase “Save Ferris,” she’s constantly tormented.

These callbacks remind us that Ferris is breaking the rules. Sure, it’s wrong, but is it that wrong? There’s a certain appeal to the renegade spirit of mavericks who buck the establishment. That’s what Ferris Bueller represents. Every time we see a reference to his lie about being sick, it brings us closer to his character. We are, after all, in on his secret.

You can use callbacks in your speaking to create a rhythm to your presentation that emphasizes your core messages. Callbacks make it more likely that message will stick with the audience.

Self-deprecating Humor. If you notice one thing about these elements we’re discussing, they all encourage audience participation. They draw the audience into your performance. You become more accessible, more likable, and, therefore, more credible.

You might also notice, as we’ve progressed in this essay, they each become more humorous. Story weaving can introduce opportunities to tell jokes. Artfully timed callbacks can bring laughs, too. But nothing works better when it comes to funny as self-deprecating humor.

We’ve all been told to start a talk with a joke. It loosens the audience up. It also loosens you up. But what if you’re not comfortable telling jokes? What if you’re concerned your joke might offend people? Making fun of yourself overcomes both obstacles. Making a joke at your own expense lightens the mood and makes you more relatable. It also reduces the likelihood you’ll offend someone.

Ronald Reagan was a master at self-deprecating humor. He constantly poked fun at his own age. This dampened concern that he was too old to serve as president. He also used his role as a politician to ease anxiety in serious situations. After taking a bullet in a failed assassination attempt, Reagan famously quipped to the doctors about to operate on him, “I hope you’re all Republicans.”

This witty remark not only calmed a nation’s nerves, but it endeared Reagan to the public. The self-deprecating line showed he could remain funny and poke fun at himself, even in the face of adversity. Not many could reduce tension and inspire confidence after being shot.

Self-deprecating humor works because it builds rapport with the audience. It makes you seem humble and approachable. It encourages your audience to connect to you and be supportive of what you’re about to say.

Try incorporating these techniques into your next presentation. Practice weaving a story into the body of your talk. Treat it as a subplot that supports or complements your main story. Find ways to reference what you said earlier with a witty callback or two. Finally, don’t be afraid to make fun of yourself (in an appropriate manner). Starting a speech with self-deprecating humor can be good for you and your audience.

You’ll find these tools reinforce your message and better engage your audience. By strengthening your public speaking skills in this way, you can improve your ability to communicate and connect.

What should you do the next time you want to captivate and move your audience? Use the methods described above. You’ll not only leave the audience smiling, but you’ll be amazed at how satisfied you will become.