Chris Carosa, Author at Chris Carosa

Thanksgiving Thinking

By Chris Carosa on November 25, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the November 23, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

Act II, Scene 5 from Pass the Cranberries and What’s the Score

(The scene is a Norman Rockwell-like Thanksgiving dinner setting, complete with all the trimmings: grandma, mom, dad, two older sons and two younger daughters. Grandpa is in the family room sleeping on the couch and an old B-movie plays on the television set. Though dinner is nearly over, dishes are busily being passed and the clinking of silverware against a plate rings incessantly.)

Mom: Come on boys, finish the vegetables. There’s too little left to put in the refrigerator and we need room for the rest of the other leftovers.

Son #2: (Looks to his older brother.) OK, I’ll take the peas and mushrooms and you can have the corn.

Son #1: No problem. (Turns to his youngest sister.) Pass the salt.

Daughter #2: (Stretches her arm across the table, knocking over her glass of cherry-red Kool-Aid on the formerly brilliant white tablecloth.) It’s too far for me to reach. Could somebody pour me some more Kool-Aid?

Daughter #1: (Giggles.)

Dad: (Angrily.) That’s not funny. (Places all available napkins on the ever growing spill.)

Son #1: Oh, oh. I think I just saw the EPA pull up in the driveway. (No one at the table Continue Reading “Thanksgiving Thinking”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged family, Growing Up, Thanksgiving

A New Metric for Elected Officials

By Chris Carosa on November 23, 2010

Quick, off the top of your head, what is the fourth (soon to be third) largest city in New York State? I’ll give you a hint. It’s not Syracuse.

G. Scott Thomas wrote a story (“Buffalo slips to 70th in city population,” Business First, November 22, 2010) that both concisely states the problem and suggests the single most important metric we should hold elected officials accountable for.

But first, the story, and how it defines the problem.

Some, as the Business First article intimates, say Buffalo hit its highpoint in 1900 when it ranked as the 8^th largest city in the nation. This figure, however, misleads. The nation had not yet quite filled itself out and some of the western cities were just getting started. These western cities had natural growth advantages and one could argue the 1900 ranking placed Buffalo too high.

The more accurate apex would be July 1951, when Fortune magazine featured “Made Continue Reading “A New Metric for Elected Officials”

Posted in Western New York State of Mind Tagged Buffalo, politics, population, Rochester, Western New York

Star Trek Fans: Call 232-3700 NOW!

By Chris Carosa on November 18, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the November 16, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

The long day generally leaves a tired wasted body which desires only a warm meal, a soft sofa, and the remote control device. Don’t get me wrong. I really don’t consider myself a couch potato (though I wish I could afford that luxury). In fact, I peruse but two TV shows on a regular basis – the news and Star Trek (either the original or the newer series).

I find it very convenient that I often arrive home when either of these shows are on. Such timing grants me the opportunity to cook while watching the news and dine during Star Trek. (Don’t tell my mother, she still doesn’t like me to watch TV when eating dinner.)

Pleasant consistency, however, cannot exist in the dynamic media. Demographics and Arbitron Ratings eventually invade even the most staid of stations (witness the former Continue Reading “Star Trek Fans: Call 232-3700 NOW!”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Star Trek, William Shatner

Throwback Bills Fans – What’s it Mean?

By Chris Carosa on November 17, 2010

A funny thing happened on the way to the Bills game this past weekend. Actually two funny things, which, in of itself, was a funny thing. Not once, but twice, while ambling on down the New York State Thruway, we saw a car pull over and a well-padded passenger disembark to visit some nearby woodlands, soon to be wetlands.

I hadn’t seen this scene in quite some time. At first, I wondered what would cause an obviously well working auto to suddenly yank itself to the shoulder of the road. After another slug of my Snapple, a thought popped into my head.

How far had these “relievers” been traveling? How much did they have to drink? Was there any doubt they were going to the game?

Once we got to the game – and despite the repeatedly failed attempts by the Bills to Continue Reading “Throwback Bills Fans – What’s it Mean?”

Posted in Western New York State of Mind Tagged Buffalo Bills

Thoughts on the BIG Meeting

By Chris Carosa on November 11, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the November 9, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

Everyone suffers the experience of entering into a tough situation. Poets often use war as the hyperbole of a demanding duty. Many of us have the blessed fortune not to have lived through the experience of combat, but stay forever grateful to those brave enough and principled enough to have entered into the fray. The inner feelings of those veterans can never truly be captured. Often, though, we assume only the real dread brought by battle can infuse humbling thoughts or put things into ultimate perspective.

Perhaps that is true, but there remain in our lives events which force our confrontation with formidable foes. While the risk of sudden demise rarely exists, the emotional burden of a quickly paced observation-decision-action cycle endures. We find fields of Continue Reading “Thoughts on the BIG Meeting”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Sentinel, Veteran's Day

The Top 10 Greatest Challenges Facing Today’s Boy Scout Troops

By Chris Carosa on November 9, 2010

Minutes from the November Meeting of the Towpath District Boy Scout Roundtable

We assembled at the Krieg Road LDS as usual on the cool evening of Thursday, November 4, 2010. The room filled quickly and after a series of announcements, we divided ourselves into five patrol of 4-5 Scouters. Each patrol selected their names as follows: “Old Goats” (guess their average age); “Patrol #1” (guess their estimated self-worth); “Five Guys” (which, ironically, included four woman and one guy); “Mentally Challenged” (which pretty much tells you how much effort they put into the process); and “Knot” (signifying the contrapositive effort of the previous patrol).

It is duly noted here “Five Guys” took the unsolicited liberty of designing their own patrol logo. For going above and beyond the call of duty, each member of the entire patrol received one extra Roundtable Buck. It is also dutifully reported the whole assembly voted “Old Goats” as the “Best” (or, perhaps, “most appropriate”) Patrol Name and, in recognition of this outstanding feat, each member of that aged patrol found themselves richer by one Roundtable Buck.

For our troop activity, we spent the bulk of the meeting identifying the “Top 10 Greatest Challenges” our units face. After much deliberation, several really bad puns and a diversionary diatribe on the cultural significance of the 1984 cult classic The Adventures Continue Reading “The Top 10 Greatest Challenges Facing Today’s Boy Scout Troops”

Posted in Boy Scouts Tagged Boy Scout, BSA, hover parent, troop

Pittsford-Mendon High School Highjinks

By Chris Carosa on November 4, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the October 26, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

For those of you who don’t know or don’t care, Pittsford-Mendon High School’s homecoming weekend fell victim to rude behavior and mass disciplinary retaliation. It seems a few passionate students took it upon themselves to start an egg throwing contest during a Friday pep rally. The ensuing food fight left plenty of smashed eggs, messy clothes and at least one egg-faced teacher.

Not tolerating anarchy in the least, the administration promptly cancelled all homecoming activities (except the games). So much for a fun-filled weekend of parading and dancing. The action of the powers that be so upset the student body that about Continue Reading “Pittsford-Mendon High School Highjinks”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged philosophy, Pittsford, Pittsford Mendon

Monday Night Volleyball

By Chris Carosa on October 28, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the October 26, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

For years I have played volleyball. In fact, if memory serves correctly, I spent the last two-and-a-half years of high school gym classes dabbling in the sport. Yes, in those days, the team of SC³ proved to be truly entertaining. (You have to read that last sentence with the voice of Howard Cosell in order for it to be really effective.) Of course, the four of us had an advantage – we were always on the same team. That experience of teamwork, and the resulting rapport, far exceeded our scrawny, unathletic builds and helped make our unit equal to much larger classmates – a victory for all 98-pound weaklings.

Though we competed vigorously, no stressful seriousness spoiled our fun. We won some games, we lost some games. We didn’t enforce the rules strictly; after all, our Continue Reading “Monday Night Volleyball”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged Gates Chili, Growing Up, Mendon, sportsmanship, Volleyball

A Wrangler’s Story

By Chris Carosa on October 21, 2010

[This Commentary originally appeared in the October 19, 1989 issue of The Mendon-Honeoye Falls-Lima Sentinel.]

Born on February 15^th in what was then a small seaport, his father belonged to a noble, but impoverished, family. Dad dabbled in the clothing business, but had an aptitude for mathematics and music. He also had common sense, for he realized that, in those days, none but the chosen few could afford a living in the mathematics or music industry.

The father sent the son to study medicine – always a fine and rewarding industry – at the local University. The proud parent knew the temptation music and mathematics might have on the boy, so he purposely dissuaded him from those fields. The young man, however, already possessed a proficiency in music.

At the University, he incurred the wrath of his professors. He simply refused to accept Continue Reading “A Wrangler’s Story”

Posted in The Compleat Carosa Commentaries Tagged astronomy, Galileo

New York Governor’s Race: A Corleone Election

By Chris Carosa on October 18, 2010

OK, I just watched the debate. Rather, I just listened to the debate. Here’s what I’m convinced of: With all due respect to the minor party candidates, it’s pretty clear the matter of who will serve as New York State’s next governor comes down to a choice of these two characters:

Sonny Corleone
– or –
Michael Corleone

I guess that would make the sum total of all the candidates Fredo “You’re dead to me” Corleone.

But about the two main characters, the metaphor is so juicy we’ve got to wonder if Coppola isn’t in the wings writing the script. On one hand there’s the crude hot-headed thug whose wild passion constantly gets him in trouble but, in the end, probably will Continue Reading “New York Governor’s Race: A Corleone Election”

Posted in Western New York State of Mind Tagged Corleone, Godfather, New York, politics