The Power of a Promise: Why Keeping Your Word Matters

What ever happened to Sundays? I used to lie on my stomach on the couch and read the voluminous New York Times spread on the rug below me. Then I’d roll over to my back and watch the Buffalo Bills on TV. After the Bills game, I’d keep football on and yank the extra-large NY Times crossword puzzle out of the magazine section. With the sounds of the gridiron grunting comfortably in the background, I’d meticulously complete the puzzle. In pen.

Ah, for those lazy Sundays…

Those lazy, inefficient Sundays.

Those lazy, inefficient Sundays whose only legacy is a bare, faded memory that’s almost gone.

I’m much more productive now. Life has a way of forcing that on you. It’s even better when you enjoy it.

And I enjoy it. The fruits of that production aren’t mere memories, but tangible relics that I can share with others. It’s the sharing I enjoy the most. I realize now I can’t share when I don’t produce. And I can’t produce without first promising—nay, vowing—to myself that I will produce.

Which gets us to New Year’s resolutions. It’s that time of year when we make life easier by hitting our internal reset button. A new year brings a new hope. All the bad stuff from last year gets relegated to the dustbin of history. We start fresh. No burdens. Only possibilities.

Do you know less than a third of Americans make New Year’s resolutions? According to a Pew Research study done last year, younger adults are more likely to make resolutions than those at or approaching retirement. Could it be older folks have already forged their lives the best they can and don’t need to resolve to change? Or is it that they became disenchanted because they failed to achieve what they resolved to accomplish?

Indeed, research shows only 9% of Americans realize their New Year’s resolutions. Worse, nearly one in four (23%) of the people quit their resolution by the end of the first week of January, and 43% give up by the end of January.

That might explain the disenchantment. Nobody likes failure. For many, unfortunately, the best way to avoid failure is to stop trying. That’s a problem.

Making and keeping promises, even promises to yourself like New Year’s resolutions, mean more than simply realizing a particular goal. It impacts how you feel about yourself, including your integrity, reliability, and personal growth.

We make promises for very good reasons. They become an affirmation that inspires us to reach the goals we set. This motivation is similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy. You achieve because you will yourself to achieve.

So, you cannot understate the power of promise. But, as with most psychological tools, making a promise has a dark side, too. It introduces a risk. Failure to keep a single promise might be sluffed off. Over time, however, the toll of repeated failure can lead to emotional damage. Not only that, but failing to keep promises has social implications, too. If you can’t keep your promises, others will trust you less.

Would you like to avoid the embarrassment and self-flagellation from failing to keep your promises?

It’s easier to do than you think. Here are three simple rules you can follow to be in the elite 9% of Americans who actually realize the goals associated with their New Year’s resolutions.

• Set a specific, measurable goal (but not too specific).
  How you define your goal represents the key to success. First, make sure the goal is measurable. Don’t just say, “I will be happy.” What does that mean? Even if you are happy, you might fear you’re just fudging it. Instead, make your goal the thing that will make you happy. For example, if I could create a program to scan the internet and find trade journal articles on the subject of retirement fiduciaries, that would make me happy. That’s specific. However, it may be too specific. Since I’m not able to write a program that connects to the internet, let alone find specific trade journal articles, my resolution might be better if I limit it to simply writing a program that connects to the internet. Anything beyond that would be a bonus. In a similar fashion, instead of resolving to host a Super Bowl party for your friends, make your resolution simply to host a theme party for your friends.
• Create specific milestones that lead to your goal.
  Here’s the real secret to attaining your resolution: create a series of steps to follow. These represent the critical path to success. They should be “bite-sized” tasks that don’t overwhelm you. By the way, “overwhelm” can mean different things to different people. For example, a couple of milestones related to writing a program to connect to the internet could include learning about how artificial intelligence uses agents to connect to the internet and learning how to program in Python. I’m not overwhelmed by that. Others might be. On the other hand, milestones for creating a theme party might include asking your friends for ideas and then researching the cost of materials associated with potential themes.
• Make a public commitment (that includes how you will reward yourself).
  Finally, use peer pressure to your advantage. Tell everybody about your resolution. To give yourself an added incentive, also tell everyone how you plan to reward yourself. As before, each of us gets excited about different kinds of rewards. In keeping with our examples, if I can connect to the internet, as a reward to myself, I will share the results with FiduciaryNews.com subscribers. After hosting a theme party for your friends, you might treat yourself to a meal at your favorite restaurant.

There you have it. Now, create your (not too) specific and measurable New Year’s resolution. Figure out the milestone tasks you need to complete on your road to achieving your resolution. Finally, tell everyone about it, and don’t forget to also tell them how you’ll reward yourself.

Oh, you’re wondering how I spend my Sundays now (when I’m not going to the Bills’ game)? Why, I make Sunday sauce, of course. Now, that’s something I really enjoy sharing.