TWTWTWID* (RAW & UNCUT!)

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* These Were The Weeks That Were In Davenport (RAW & UNCUT!)

Seth insisted no one want to read TWID. He said this 35 years ago and he said this again 35 year later. That’s why he only copied half the original pages (“the ones involving the class of ’82,” he insisted). Well, it turned out he was wrong… on both counts.

First, as soon as the abridged version was published (you can read it here if you don’t believe me), word spread. Staying up well past their bed-time, normally non-nocturnal D’Port 82ers found themselves captivated with the rare literature. (It is believed, but uncomfirmed, the same holds true for the abnormally non-nocturnal D’Port 82ers, too. For the nocturnal crowd – both the normal and the abnormal – well, let’s just say the party never stopped with the arbitrary event of graduation.)

Second, the masses yearned for a copy of the complete, unabridged edition of the “granddaddy of all college newsletters” (Yale Daily News, April 13, 2001). Not satisfied with merely contacting the lowly compiler, they went straight to the source. When Seth began seeing and hearing a level of interest he’d never before seen in TWID… he still wasn’t convinced the unabridged decision made sense. So, he asked me to name “one thing” the abridged edition omitted. I one-upped him. Actually, I eleven-upped him. The RAW & UNCUT! edition of the TWID compilation contains at least these eleven fun memories not found in the Abridged edition:

  1. The start of the mural competition (I want to write about this but I need to see who has the picture of the finished product. I do somewhere… somewhere…).
  2. Seth’s take on the 1982 Superbowl (if only for the later career irony).
  3. Mike Morris Valentine’s Day reference.
  4. Ed’s Vacation.
  5. Computer terminals installed in the Cottage Basement (a.k.a. “Seminar Room” a.k.a. “1321 Davenport”).
  6. Yet another shameless plug for “The Don” and WYBC.
  7. Info on the D-port Intramural Hockey team – now I’ve got to update The Rink of Dreams!
  8. The Breakfast Club Lecture Series! (Featuring 3 out of the 5 CTO members as lecturers.) (This is just too funny to leave on the cutting room floor!)
  9. An error on the dates (this was a deductive failure on my part – I failed to consider you did an April Fools edition of TWID).
  10. The (original) Mural tea bag announcement.
  11. Throughout it all, Seth’s witty humor and Ed’s witty illustrations.

In addition, we’ve added a new “Aftoreword” from Seth, a new “Ultimate Useless Drivel from the Compiler,” and we even found a way to sneak in a cameo appearance from a fellow D’Porter from the class of 1983 we all have fond memories of.

Without further adieu, then, kick off your shoes, pour yourself a glass of your favorite adult beverage, and prepare to go back to an age when girls were girls, men were men, and – mister – we could use a guy like Herbert Hoover  again! No. Wait. That’s too far back. Rewind the rewind to just after we did the Time Warp… and… your there!

Click here (not there) to enter a place when today was the future you could only dream of.

It’s Time to Outlaw Student Loans

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Now hold on. Before you think I’ve totally lost my mind, hear me out on this one.

More than two decades ago, when Hillary Clinton was busy working on her plan to nationalize our nation’s health care system (yes, that would be when she was First Lady), the idea of how to stop spiraling health care costs suddenly hit me: Outlaw health insurance.

The reasoning was basic economics: Sellers charge what the market will bear. Because consumers didn’t pay their health care costs out-of-pocket (that’s what health insurance is for), they had no incentive to “shop” for the best price. As a result, the market (i.e., those health care consumers) could bear almost any price. Given that, it was only natural prices skyrocketed. (Well, that and an unconstrained tort system that made medical malpractice one of the fastest growing industries in America.)

Now consider college costs. They’ve skyrocketed, too. Why? Because the financial “aid” Continue Reading “It’s Time to Outlaw Student Loans”

A New Beginning

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There’s nothing like strolling out to the pitcher’s mound for the first game of the season. A new season ushers in a new beginning, and with a new beginning comes new hope. For someone like me, the games may be of the past, but the smells aren’t: the sweet fragrance of the freshly mowed outfield; the gritty dryness of the dusty infield; the melts-in-your-mouth aroma of broken-in leather. With these smells, of course, bubble up the feelings of old: the promise of a clean slate; the dreams of achievements yet to be; the comradery of brothers only shared experience can forge.

Admit it. If you’ve ever played Little League Baseball, then you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve ever coached, then no doubt you’re amazed how a new generation of kids Continue Reading “A New Beginning”

God and Calhoun at Yale

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You can tell skilled debaters from amateurs by this simple test: skilled debaters can argue either side of the argument with equal success. It’s why public defenders are often better attorneys than public prosecutors. In most situations, public prosecutors can choose which case to take to court. Given this option, it’s not surprising to see them avoid cases they don’t agree with. Public defenders have no similar choice. They must make a case for the defendant whether they believe that defendant is guilty or not. Unlike private defense attorneys, who may choose not to represent any particular party, public defenders have no right to pick and choose their cases.

It’s easy to see why people sometimes think less of the legal profession. The ability to argue either side of any issue with the same fervor can indicate a certain level of amorality that can make a preacher’s skin crawl. After all, in the court of law, judgment is fungible – the power of a lawyer’s rhetoric can sway it. On the other hand, from the point of view of the pulpit, Continue Reading “God and Calhoun at Yale”

TWTWTWID*

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* These Were The Weeks That Were In Davenport

In case you missed it the first time around some thirty-five years ago, editor Seth Magalaner and illustrator Ed Sevilla have reunited to share their rare collection of wit, fantasy, and creative prowess by allowing us mere non-Master’s aides a chance to peek behind the curtain that once was. Since many of you have no idea what I’m talking about, you’ve no doubt returned to your daily (hourly? minutely?) reflection on Facebook and are no longer reading this. That’s good. We only want those in the know to take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer. That’s right, now is the only time you will be having your 35th reunion from Davenport College and you are therefore accorded a glance at the original TWIDs from your senior year.

Just click on this link and go back in time to a time when your primary worry was reading, writing, and money to buy pizza. It was a time when the last thing you thought of doing was reading TWID. Well now, after all these years, after most of your reading and writing is behind you, and at a time when your doctor says to lay off the pizza, now you finally have the time to read TWID.

Click here to enter the past you never knew.

Why Trump Won’t Lead The Reagan Revolution

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In the spirit of this week’s Presidential Inauguration, I’m going to do something I rarely do: I going to share with you a personal correspondence. Early last year, just as the Republican primary was starting to get interesting, a classmate of mine who writes for the National Review went full speed into the “Never Trump” camp. In March, I penned this letter to her:

Maggie:

Too bad most of the comments on your “Good-Bye Reagan Revolution!” article are ad hominem attacks on you; thus, have no validity. I’ll speak to you on a more personal level since we grew up together in the midst of the Reagan Revolution. First some background, in case you forgot (and I have no reason to believe you remember). In 1979/1980 I was (and Continue Reading “Why Trump Won’t Lead The Reagan Revolution”

Here’s What I Learned When I was a Professional Political Pollster

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agreement-survey-scale-1-1236335-660x395Imagine being a physics and astronomy major at a school interested in politics and government where the most popular major is political science and economics. It’s tough. You can’t engage in discussions, you can only listen. You know nothing, unless the conversation turns towards nuclear energy policy (which it almost never does) or space exploration (which it doesn’t ever).

That was me heading into the 1980 presidential primary season. I was nothing more than a naïve cheerleader. I wanted to be more, but what? In an ocean of future neo-cons, think tank thinkers, and government policy makers, I was merely a small deserted isle that didn’t even merit a place on the map. I tried and tried to think of a way I could add value, to discover something in one of the classes I took that would generate at least interest, if not respect, among my more politically knowledgeable classmates. About the only unique differentiator I offered was that I had lived in Jack Kemp’s congressional district, but that was just a novelty of coincidence.

Then it struck me. While all these talking heads spent their class time debating the merits Continue Reading “Here’s What I Learned When I was a Professional Political Pollster”

What The University of Chicago Can Teach Yale

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nathan_hale_statue_flanked_by_two_soldiers_yale_university_1917They took all incoming freshman on a special tour within a day of our arrival at the campus in New Haven. Those were ancient times, when many (like me) had neither the time nor the treasure to visit colleges prior to matriculation (let alone application). To this day, one fact from that introductory outing stands out in my much more crowded brain – the visit inside and around Connecticut Hall. Completed in 1757, this last remaining survivor of Yale’s “Old Brick Row” served as a dormitory for nearly two centuries. It was declared a National Historic Landmark in 1965.

But that’s not what I remember.

Here’s what I remember: First, there was some obscure graffiti left on an interior wall. Supposedly more than a century old, I don’t remember what it said. All I remember feeling upon hearing this story is that college students have always been rascals and Yale apparently didn’t mind – and even glorified – these youthful misdemeanors.

The second memory carried far greater weight. Outside of Connecticut Hall stands a Continue Reading “What The University of Chicago Can Teach Yale”

It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It

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Winters in New Haven, Connecticut aren’t nearly as severe as those in the Greater Western New York region. I had proudly proclaimed my home town ever since that sun-drenched day in September of 1978 when I first stepped onto campus. As a result, when the winds of winter arrived, as a native of Buffalo, I felt obliged to walk the talk. That meant, on a regular basis, when temperatures “dipped” into the low thirties, I would trudge out of my dorm in nothing but gym shorts and walk to the post office to get my mail. (Before you get too impressed, the post office was located in the basement of my hall. There was no interior access, so I had to walk outside into the raised courtyard, down the steps to ground level, then turn a quick right before descending another set of stairs before, finally, entering the mail center.)

I remember one of those treks quite vividly. There I was, sauntering (after all, walking hastily would make it seem as though I feared the frigid temperature) through the courtyard without a shirt one coolish evening. Establishing a different form of cool, I stopped to talk to some friends. (I remember one saying to the other, “It’s cold, why isn’t he wearing a shirt?” The other responded, “He’s from Buffalo.” The first person said “Oh” with a knowing nod.)Continue Reading “It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It”

The Solver – Rich: The Final Piece of the Puzzle

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[Previously: Roommates for Sale – Frank: The Designated Driver]

After Spike (a.k.a. “Pierce”) left The Roommates (yes, there was a fifth Roommate) in 1979 to join the Marines, a rather expansive punk group which qualifies for government assistance, the boys needed a drummer. Most critics would have agreed that, even with Spike, The Roommates needed a drummer. Spike brief time with the three originals did leave three permanent marks. First, it was Spike’s hidden love for martial music that set the early war-like tone of the proto-group. Second, he inspired Ted to write his first hit, the now famous folksy rag “Blond-Haired Boy from Brooklyn.” Finally, Spike gave the other members something they would need to catapult them to instant fame: Continue Reading “The Solver – Rich: The Final Piece of the Puzzle”